A true look into the things that people do not talk about, their inner-self.

I, for one, “left” Facebook a long time ago…right about the same time that I joined.

I was hesitant about joining, and when I did, last year, got “addicted” for about a month. I wanted to like it, I really did! And I did – again – for about a month.

I questioned my aversion to it (as if something were wrong with me: “Maybe I’m hiding!”) Probably because I do find some value to it – I do agree with Darren, that if used wisely, social media can be a way to connect as a first step. But to me, Facebook is as tedious as cocktail conversation. It’s as simple as that. I truly don’t enjoy it and so I don’t spend time on it.

During that month, I too found myself wasting my energy on “what to write, who will respond to my posts, how should I respond to that comment…” It really was a waste of energy….I felt like I was reverting to my thought processes at 16. It was surreal, actually, and powerful… the affect it had on me! And I found myself accepting friend requests from people that I really didn’t care to connect with (talk about inauthentic….what’s the point of that?)

I don’t really judge others for using it, but I do appreciate that you are asking us to “look underneath the surface” or look at the “bigger picture.” I think what stood out to me most, Jayson, was when you said: “When it comes down to it and I look at my experience on Facebook I ask myself, Has the quality of my relationships increased since becoming a part of this network?”

There are many other ways that I/we distract ourselves – or hide – from intimate/authentic relationships, from real life. I fall pray too….TV, work, alcohol, coffee, etc…and it concerns me. I have 1 minute to 100 years left: How will I choose to spend my time? What is most important to me?
Time is precious, my relationships are precious. And I certainly don’t want to come from a place of scarcity, but I do care about the quality of our lives.

Thank you for taking a stand, Jayson, and asking the important questions that create more conscious living…. AND, more importantly, your willingness to take action (and calling us to act too!)

So, I’m starting a walk around the world (as you know). Can I do it without Facebook? Well, I haven’t used it yet. But how can we spread the word? I’m curious about your thoughts on that…

But, I think you missed the point.

If you don’t get caught up in the Farmville and Mafia Wars and all of the stupid shit on Facebook and instead break it down to what it actually is – there could be nothing more valuable. It’s a conduit to people. You just cut the conduit off. Completely.

Rather than understand the fundamental purpose of social media, you get caught up in the distraction of the meaningless bells and whistles that make it that psychadelic drug you was talking about, totally missing the point of Facebook in the first place.

I would have to ask you how many times you used Facebook to actually set up a meeting with a friend you haven’t talked to in years, or used it to attend an invite-only event where you could achieve the social piety you want – face-to-face, meaningful connection with people.

Let me use my own experience as an example. I work in newspapers and with that comes an inevitable endless collection of cards and acquaintances. But – I never went out much, unless it was with close friends.

I joined Twitter about a year ago. I now have nearly 1,000 followers (and I don’t say that to tell you how popular I am). I used it to engage in conversation with people on everything from my family, my workouts (runs), my golf games and my work to political debates, social debates and more.

Yes, I’m on it a lot. But, that’s not the point.

What Twitter did, when I truly used it for its basic, fundamental purpose, is it opened my life up to hundreds of people who I would not otherwise have met.

OK – so how is this different from Facebook? It’s different because I actually made the effort to get out and meet many of these people through events called Tweet-ups. Of my 1,000 followers, I have probably personally met over 100 of them. People who I would not OTHERWISE have met. I engage ANYONE who wants to engage me.

There is always a first-step to meaningful conversations, and I took that step by embracing what social media has to offer in broadening my perspectives, my conversation, and, in the end, my face-to-face connections.

I keep in regular contact with many of the people I’ve met on Twitter – outside of Twitter, and including face-to-face meetings.

To dismiss Facebook or social media in general is fine. And one can close themselves off to a diverse and wonderful world of people waiting for conversation.

Yes, you can deepen the relationships you have by connecting more personally and more deeply with those you have close to you. There is immense value in that.

But saying that you’d rather pick up the telephone or have an e-mail conversation, instead of using social media channels, is like saying 15 years ago you will only have a conversation with someone over a land line.

Social media is filled with people dying to talk to you, and for you to talk with them. To shut them out and still claim you are on a search for meaningful relationships rings a little hollow. Especially so on a page that emphasizes your great efforts to meet and engage 52 different people over the course of a year.

OK – a lot of social media is static. A lot of it is garbage. But, it’s no different than going to a high school field party – you engage with those people with which you can have an interesting conversation.

But, you still went to the field parties, right?

You just need to converse with the people who you feel you will gain value from.

That’s the impetus behind all meaningful conversation.

Try Twitter. It’s much better for straight conversation and no gimmicks.

What I have actually found is the apathy from the people who are supposedly “Facebook junkies”. I feel I can say this because I have fallen victim to it. I routinely receive messages from people who I don’t reply to.

Although I don’t know if I am ready to click the “delete” button, I can say I am inspired to begin working on my real life relationships. Thank you Jayson, for saying what I kind of believe everyone is truly thinking.