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Don't believe in anything

“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.”
Buddha

belief |biˈlēf|
noun
1 an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists : his belief in God | a belief that solitude nourishes creativity.
• something one accepts as true or real; a firmly held opinion or conviction : c.ontrary to popular belief, Aramaic is a living language | we’re prepared to fight for our beliefs.
See note at opinion .
• a religious conviction : Christian beliefs | I’m afraid to say belief has gone | local beliefs and customs.
2 ( belief in) trust, faith, or confidence in someone or something : a belief in democratic politics | I’ve still got belief in myself.

Everything we do cascades down from our system of beliefs. Our actions and motives are driven by our beliefs, the result of everything we have done in our lives are an expression of our beliefs. The second step in A-Z is a big one.

Over the next two weeks I will put a microscope on my life and begin to examine my actions, then determine what beliefs I hold that drive those actions. I’ll take a look back and analyze my life up until this point and determine the beliefs that have taken me to where I am now.

I’ll introduce another book “The biology of belief” by Bruce Lipton, and I’ll discuss some of his writings and dive into the big questions and answers around the beliefs we hold and the importance they have in creating our lives.

The bottom line. Don’t believe in anything… it opens up the opportunity to be curious…

What is Real?

“What is real?… Real isn’t how you are made. It’s a thing that happens to you… It doesn’t happen all at once… You become… It takes a long time…”
Margary Williams, The Velveteen rabbit

It has been a perfect few weeks to explore authenticity as it has been a challenging period. Normally in such challenging periods I would have pushed everything aside and adopted the aforementioned ‘Fake it til’ you make it’ philosophy. During tough times I’d turn on the shiny exterior and pretend that everything was great and that if I just kept pretending that things would eventually change. The result… exhausting.

Over the last few weeks I have experienced challenges with my work, my marriage, my child, finances, my future and overall existential being. There were still times that I lied to myself and others when asked the omnipresent question of “How is it going”, but for the most part I tackled authenticity head on and let myself be free.

Here’s what I’ve found out about authenticity over the last few weeks (some of it courtesy of David Irvine’s book ‘Becoming Real’:

Authenticity is about opening to the experience of who you really are and courageously bringing that realness into the world.
We often neglect our true feelings and focus on how we should be. This is exhausting and unnecessary. Who are we doing it for? The fleeting approval of others or ourselves?

More than being taught, the journey to authenticity probably will best be caught. Letting go of the need for prestige or approval from others will bring you freedom.
See above.

To be nobody but yourself, in a world which is doing its best, night and day to make you just like everybody else, means to fight the greatest battle there is to fight and never stop fighting. ee cummings
It is a tremendous battle we are all up against… to be ourselves. When we dip our toes into the cold, uncertain waters of authenticity we realize that when we choose to fight, what we are fighting for is ultimately freedom.

Authenticity means living according to your values and virtues and purpose and expressing your unique gifts in the service of others.
What this all means in the context of authenticity is… if you don’t know your values, virtues and purpose, your screwed.

The paradox of looking back and measuring our authenticity, we can often say how inauthentic we were, but the reality is we were probably as authentic as our consciousness would allow at the time.
We will have moments of authentic behavior, inauthentic behavior and sometimes that inauthentic behavior will be authentic. The importance is to develop the ability to continually ask yourself the questions that drive authenticity (based on your values, virtues and purpose).

You aren’t what you do, because when you don’t, then you aren’t.
We often think that we are what we do. A doctor, a lawyer, a homeless person, a student. This has nothing to do with authenticity. When we strip away the labels and are left with our feelings, essence, passions and energy. That is who we are.

Authenticity is freedom
To be inauthentic is to be in the chains. I have often made up in my mind that I’m less important if I’m not living up to my standards and those standards I think people have of me. What I found out over the last two weeks when I articulated my truth to people around me is that they too opened up. It was an invitation to be real. The freedom came through realizing that my struggles are not individual, but those that are experienced by most others. The freedom came through realizing that when I let them go I am no longer carrying the burden of trying to be something else. What is here is real.

The end of the first part of authenticity is definitely just the beginning.

I’ll leave you with some ALI’s (Authentic living indicators)

PURPOSE
Did I act according to my purpose today?
What was my greatest expression?
Where didn’t I act congruent with my purpose?
What do I need to change?

VALUES
Did I act according to my values today?
What was my greatest expression of these values?
Where was I incongruent with my values?
What do I need to change?

This is a simple and effective way to measure your authenticity…

I have come up with some questions that can stir the brain like a zen koan. For example;

Is authenticity something to be striven for, or is it something that simply is?

Is being on a quest for authenticity actually authenticity if I’m forcing it? If say, I catch myself saying something that I didn’t actually mean, is that inauthentic or is that me being authentically dishonest? A nice word for lying to myself or others. Is the pursuit of authenticity a futile engagement and should I be striving to simply be aware of the things I do and understand, that for past reasons I have been conditioned to respond a certain way in a given situation? I know what your thinking… this is a lot to digest.

This contemplation created the big question, one I don’t have an answer for, but is interesting to consider.

Can authenticity and “Fake it til’ you make it coexist”?(From now on to be known as FTM)

I have many times, and still do, put into action this FTM and I wonder if this is a completely inauthentic thing for me to be doing. I know many successful business people and high achievers used FTM to matriculate their way atop their respective ladders, but what if it doesn’t feel right?

I think I have the answer. Their are two types of FTM. FTMA and FTME. Let me explain.

FTME = Fake it til’ you make it (Ego)
FTMA = Fake it til’ you make it (Authentic version)

FTME
How do you know it is FTME? I think this is when we fake it to get somewhere we actually don’t want to go. A job or idea that sounds great and along with social hypnosis and societal pressures we convince ourselves we should do it. So, to go after this we, do just what the experts say we should. We FTM…E style. It becomes an action that is driven by how it sounds rather than how it feels. It is driven by insecurity with fleeting moments of gratification when the name Jayson Krause is perceived to have more value. This is one way that drives FTME. I could go on more (maybe I will in another posting) but it comes down to all the ideas we make up about our persona vision doing something rather than connecting with how it feels.

FTMA
How do you know it is FTMA? You keep doing it. You keep doing it until it works. You keep doing it until it builds enough momentum to take over the world (figuratively). Are there moments of insecurity? YES. Are there moments of questioning oneself. YES. So what is it that keeps you going until you get it? The feeling. We feel it settling in each time we fail forward or make a wicked mess along the way. We are scared but excited. FTMA is driven by the heart and by passion. Everything else is a thought, and thoughts are things and things create actions which proliferates into a world living in FTME.

So, sit on this for a while. Whether you are faking it or not, are your actions driven by the E or the A?

A

- Authenticity/ action -adjective
1 of undisputed origin; genuine : the letter is now accepted as an authentic document | authentic 14th-century furniture. See note at genuine .
• made or done in the traditional or original way, or in a way that faithfully resembles an original : the restaurant serves authentic Italian meals | every detail of the movie was totally authentic.
• based on facts; accurate or reliable : an authentic depiction of the situation.
(in existentialist philosophy) relating to or denoting an emotionally appropriate, significant, purposive, and responsible mode of human life.

What a great place to begin, exploring the concept of authenticity. Authentic and genuine are words that I’ve heard many times when someone describes another person they really admire. ‘so and so’ is such a genuine person, you’ll have to meet him. While I agree there are moments we may show up authentically in our lives, but for the most part we as human beings are completely full of crap.

por ejemplo:

There have been times when have been angry at my wife and there was no conversation about the icident that initiated my displeasure. My wife, notices me being withdrawn asks me what’s wrong. Me in an authentic state would lay it down and fully express what and why I was so angry. What really happens is a snarly response, “I’m just tired”. Example one in the case of the people are full of it versus Authenticity.

Other examples of how ridiculously unauthentic we are:

I don’t have the time… Authentic translation – other things are more important to me
I’d love to do that but… Authentic translation – it’s not as important to me as what I’m doing now
We’ll have to get together some time… Authentic translation – I hope I never bump into you again

How about when someone asks you how work is, and you answer. “Really busy, but good” when the authentic translation is “I’m bored out of my freaking tree and spend most of my time thinking about doing something else.” It happens, it does happen.

Here is my favorite. One that made me so completely guilty because I felt like I was the only one in the world who thought it. It is regarding parenthood. I’m close to 10 months in and I completely love my daughter and share precious moments with her. BUT the transition has been much much much harder than I’d ever imagined. Most if not all father’s I spoke to only talked about how amazing it was. For the first few months I would think to myself what’s wrong with me, I’m not loving this and everyone else does!? Now after the fact, I’m finding that many fathers ACTUALLY felt the same as me. BUSTED!

It is in fact inauthenticity that is omnipresent while authenticity becomes smothered by layers and layers of BS. So, over the next fourteen (now twelve days) I’m focusing on the intention of being completely authentic myself. Mother Theresa said it best when she said the whole world would be a lot cleaner if we all swept our own steps. I’ve ordered a book by David Irvine on the subject and will find out whatever I can, maybe I’ll contact him for an interview… We shall see. In any case, If off to sweep my own steps for a while.

So, to kick it all off I’m calling you, me and everyone out at how inauthentic we are; from the way we answer questions to the things we say inside of our heads. Mostly, it’s BS.

I was sitting across a dear friend discussing the philosophy of life about five years ago. We sipped on a smooth glass of merlot while Jack Johnson played in the background in his flat just outside of Montreal. My friend was someone who I viewed as wildly successful; a former all natural Mr. Olympian body builder, a winter Olympic athlete, a successful business owner and, at the time, he was vying for a spot on the 2008 Summer Olympics in a sport he had picked up a few years prior. To boot, he was one of the nicest and happiest people I have ever met.

How was he so successful and energetic about life?

“I don’t believe in discipline”, he said. “I don’t understand why someone would have to force themselves to do anything… everything I do in my day, I WANT to do it.”

I sat staring at him, smiling and nodding my head as if I knew what he was talking about, while inside my stomach burned with jealousy at his ability to live so authentically and with such zeal.

This conversation sparked the beginning of several years of researching and building the concept of living from A-Z. I use the alphabet to emphasize what I believe are the 26 key ingredients to living a fulfilling, meaningful life. Every person desires to life a life that is authentically fulfilling, one of Zeal.

What are the 26 steps? I’ll give you a few hints. The first one is Authenticity and the last one is Zeal. What’s in between are the stepping stones from one to the other…